


Best in Show

by marimoes



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Cat Puns, Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, cat show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 11:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30138618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marimoes/pseuds/marimoes
Summary: “That cat looks like he costs more than our rent,” Garrett murmured, passing a Persian on a pillow that—Maker, was itpearl lined? “This is insane.”“No—it’sextraordinary,” Anders replied, soft awe in his voice, “look at them all.”Garrett tried to and only ended up locking eyes with a Maine Coon the size of his arm. He didn’t know cats even came that big. Part of him worried there were bigger ones.
Relationships: Anders/Hawke (Dragon Age), Anders/Male Hawke (Dragon Age)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	Best in Show

**Author's Note:**

> For Amanda whom I love with my whole heart. Thank you for making me write this.

“That cat looks like he costs more than our rent,” Garrett murmured, passing a Persian on a pillow that—Maker, was it  _ pearl lined _ ? “This is insane.”

“No—it’s  _ extraordinary _ ,” Anders replied, soft awe in his voice, “look at them all.”

Garrett tried to and only ended up locking eyes with a Maine Coon the size of his arm. He didn’t know cats even came that big. Part of him worried there were bigger ones.

If it was possible to have an out of body experience while awake, Garrett was having one. The convention center they were in had stark white walls and floors, decorated with banners and signs with names that he didn’t want to begin to question. He did, however, appreciate whoever ‘Nacho’ was and wanted to meet their owner. 

Then again, most of the people in here were likely certifiably insane given the things he heard just walking in with their badges. There was talk of breeds, claws, tails, pads, and all of it made him wonder how such a small animal could have so much to judge. 

In his opinion, their cat was the best. Anders currently was walking slightly ahead of him, carrier on his back with Ser Pounce-a-lot resting easily inside. It was designed to look like a spaceship and Garrett bought it for him for Anders’ last birthday. The man actually cried opening it. 

Maker, he was so in love with him. 

Easing up to his side, Garrett nudged Anders’ shoulder making a soft hum to get his attention without speaking. Once he captured his gaze, Garrett flicked his eyes towards an approaching table that held a Sphynx cat on it. Anders looked at him without amusement. 

“What?” He asked, mouth barely quirking with a smile. “Have you never seen a sphynx before?” 

“Why would I?” Garrett argued under his breath, gaze going back to the nearly solid grey cat. It’s color was the only thing that covered it. “You’re telling me people desire a cat with no fur? How do you pet it?” 

“With your hands!” Anders laughed, shaking his head, “Now focus, our table should be around here somewhere.” 

Garrett relented to looking for their number again, eyes continuing to catch random cats along the way. All of them with cages and set ups that were nicer than his first one bedroom apartment. Maker, what he wouldn’t have given to have that nice plush lined thing that housed a Himalayan nearby. 

Making a soft  _ ah ha  _ of recognition, Anders found their table, taking Pounce off of his back carefully. Their own benched cage was already resting on the table, placed by the team with bare bones residing on it. There wasn’t any part of them that thought that they would win, but Anders wanted to compete in one for once. 

Whatever Anders wanted, he got it. 

The orange tabby stretched on the table with a low  _ mmrpt _ from his mouth, shaking a bit as he pulled his body in the opposite direction. It made Garrett want to do the same, pulling his arms over his head and behind his back with a soft grunt. A low laugh pressed from Anders’ lips, forming a smile on his face. 

“Now, they’ll come around and judge him based on his breed,” Anders said, tone turning informative as if he were reading from a book. Garrett was suddenly aware he probably had. “After, we’ll have to wait for the results so regardless of winning or not, we get to see the rest.” 

“Win, win,” Garrett said, teasing. 

“Yes, exactly,” Anders replied, completely serious with a grin. “Thank you for coming with me, by the way. I know you’re not much of a cat person.” 

“For you? Anything.” Garrett shrugged, grin growing wider as he feigned it off with a waved hand. “Besides, how do you know I’m not just here shopping for another partner? Someone with a better cat?” 

Anders narrowed his eyes, dismissing the other man with a tsk as he set to petting Pounce again. “So, who is it you have your eye on to leave me for? Her?” 

Looking in the direction Anders pointed, Garrett found a rather lithe woman stroking what looked like a dog. Squinting at it for a moment, he processed the whiskers and sighed, relieved it was actually a cat. Maker, he didn’t think they made them that big.

“Maybe. Look at that, hearty cat she has, whatever the breed is we need one,” Garrett said, crossing his arms, nodding sagely, “Pounce could become a better fighter. Enter kitty WWE tournaments. Make us rich.” 

“It’s a Savannah and — Kitty WWE?” Anders asked incredulously, “What would that even be like?  _ The Unpurrtaker _ ?” 

“ _ Vince McMeow _ ,” Garrett offered, grinning wider. 

“ _ Whisker Purrfect _ .” 

“ _ Paw Bearer _ .” 

“ _ Meowdy _ .” 

A judge cleared his throat, making them both jump. His face was solemn and far more serious than a man who looked at cat tails all day should be. Clipboard in hand, he circled their table quietly before stopping in front of the cage door. 

“Name?” The judge asked, eyeing Anders, “Or is that what you two were deciding?” 

“No, no,” Anders said, laughing while scratching his neck gently, “His name is Ser Pounce-a-lot.” 

“ _ Hm _ ,” The judge huffed, scribbling it down, “I liked Paw Bearer myself.” 

“Thank you,” Garrett accepted, giving Anders a ‘told you so’ look. “I assure you he’s just as capable of being the Paw Bearer. Scrappy thing.” The judge raised a brow and Anders cut his hand across his throat behind him, mouth pulled tight as his gaze sharpened. “I mean that in the best way. He doesn’t go outside or get in fights and  _ definitely _ hasn’t bested a raccoon at three in the morning.” 

The judge again looked at him out of the corner of his eye as he pulled the cage door open, letting Pounce walk out onto the table. With a cautious hand, he stroked down the tabby’s back, seemingly noting something that Garrett couldn’t determine. Were he the judge, all of his notes would likely be:  _ purred really nice, sounded like gravel in a garbage disposal.  _

Pulling up gently on the cat’s ears, making them fan out to full height, he hummed before writing something down. Anders shot Garrett a look, to which he just shrugged. Holding him up, he stretched Pounce out, inspecting his stomach as well as noting his legs. 

“Excellent legs,” The judge said, placing him back down. 

“Runs in the family,” Garrett teased, wiggling his own. 

The judge’s expression didn’t change. 

Holding a hand against Pounce’s neck, he nodded, moving again to sink onto the balls of his feet to look the cat in the eyes. The tabby blinked at him before moving forward to knock his head against the judge’s forehead with a soft noise. 

“See, maybe he is the Paw Bearer. Look at that headbutt,” Garrett offered, smirking as Anders covered his mouth to contain a laugh. “Could take a fleet of men down by himself. Strongest cat alive.” 

A chuckle came from the man as he lifted back onto his feet, starting to pet Pounce again. His palm ran all the way down the cat’s spine, following through to his tail that he flicked out into the air. He nodded, pulling away to write something back onto his clipboard. 

“A sweet boy you have, very clean, wonderful features. Regardless of placing, you have quite the pet,” The judge said, smiling when Anders’ shoulders relaxed a touch. “He’s very loved.” 

“Very,” Anders quickly replied, warming when the tabby trotted to him on the other end of the table. His tail quickly flicked against Anders’ chest, eyes shut with a soft purr vibrating from him. “Very loved.” 

“Well then, ribbons will be awarded in a few hours,” The judge said, flipping pages on his clipboard before moving away from the table. “Enjoy yourselves. There are a lot of beautiful cats here.” 

“Maker, I know it,” Anders breathed, eyes gleaming, “thank you again.” 

“Beautiful? Probably. Powerful? That’s the  _ real  _ question,” Garrett said just as the man left earshot. “You know who is probably powerful? Nacho. Whatever they are I need to see them. Who names a cat Nacho if they aren’t some sort of god among cats?” 

“I don’t know, probably the same as someone that names their mabari ‘ _ Bite Commander Meredith _ .’” 

“She is a wonderful dog and the best Bite Commander this city has. Doing a  _ far better _ job than the actual Bite Commander,” Garrett argued, snickering before composing himself. “Maybe she can run for office in the spring. Might win.” 

“She’ll have to beat out Nacho for the spot, I bet.” 

“Pounce can take Nacho out, no problem. While he’s at it he can take the human Meredith out too. Our loveable hunk of a mutt will run unopposed.” 

“So sure of yourself, serah,” Anders chuckled, leaning in silent question and humming when Garrett kissed his cheek. Ushering Pounce back into the cage, he locked the door, eyes again gleaming. “Now, come on, I think I saw a munchkin and I want to watch her run.” 

Taking Anders’ hand, Garrett sighed, pulling them back into a sea of whiskers. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @noswordstyle  
> Twitter: @fondofthehowes


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